I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
