Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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