Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
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