my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
my vag is so smooth its legendary
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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