Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
