I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
