I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
