I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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