"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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