I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
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