nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
