talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
