I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
