So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
