she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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