I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize