if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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