It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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