I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize