i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
