So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I think I am morally bankrupt
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
