chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
