I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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