Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
