lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
