i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
