i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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