so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
