why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You dont lie about slip and slides
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
