i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
