I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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