"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
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