Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
