Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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