if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
