I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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