She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
We got so high we made milksteak
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
