Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Randomize