Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I need a beard to bite.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
