meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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