Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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