i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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