Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
