Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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