just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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