Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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