Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
