the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
