he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Randomize