even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize