If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
