I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
