there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
