Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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