i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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