what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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