i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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