True but thats because hes a fetus.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
