PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
high people should be assigned attendants
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
