i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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